Mercenary of Grace

I have come to the conclusion that no job is more mercenary than that of minister.

As a minister, my whole life is governed by my job. No matter how frustrated or what I desire, I am always "on call". There can always be that 3 am phone call that I'm needed, and it is expected that I will be there at my earliest opportunity.

My soul is under review. As much as they are able, people look at my life and my teaching in order to decide if I truly am a good and reliable representation of Jesus Christ. And, depending on the individual, its quite possible they will fill you in on their thoughts and suggestions.

All of who I am is bought and sold. When I sign up to take a job as a pastor, I am not just agreeing they get a say in the hours spent at work, I am agreeing that they get a say in virtually all of my life. Everything is affected.

When you hire a mercenary, you are buying their work. What they do in their spare time is largely their own. In the odd case, you might also be buying their lives, as, by the very nature of the soldierly trade, they could give their lives in your service. But as a minister, everything is touched. What I do in my spare time directly and significantly affects my sermons on Sunday, not to mention all of my visiting and sermon preparation.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, it just struck me the other day. How so much of my life is governed and dictated by my career. I don't regret accepting this calling, by any means, but there is still (and always will be) room for self-reflection and introspection.

I once heard the comment "if you can possibly live your life, and NOT be a pastor, do that." If, though, your life is simply incompatible with not being in the ministry, then perhaps you are called. If you hear all the downsides, all the difficulties, the trials and tribulations...if you hear that your soul and who you are at your very deepest core will be covered by a job, that it is not humanly possible for you to be paid enough for what you have to give up...if you know all that, and part of you is still interested, perhaps you are called.

Or, you are a fool.

Or, more likely, both.