I think I'm tired. Of sundry and varied things.
I'm tired of here. I want to get to Australia already. This is ridiculous. When I prayed for patience, this is not what I meant.
I'm tired of church. I didn't go on Sunday. No one missed me, and I missed nothing. I'm tired of church pandering to the felt needs of the masses, as opposed to speaking directly to the deep desires of the soul. If Christ just preached to the felt needs, He would have overthrown Rome and established a Jewish political state. Instead, He changed everything we thought we knew, as well as everything we could ever learn.
I'm tired of the ludicrous things my emotions are doing. I like it better when I can pretend they don't exist, or that they don't affect me. Emotions are fine things when you control them, but when they control you? Lame. Refer back to point #1.
I'm tired of being tired. I might not be the only one who is reaching out to the people outside of the fold of God, but sometimes it sure as heck feels like it. Refer back to point #2.
I'm tired of having nothing to work towards. Yes, there is Australia. Yes, I keep doing the work for that. But, that's it, and that's two months distant. I want to get in the game. The sidelines are all well and good, but seriously. I'm looking for life to actually mean something again, as opposed to just staying in this absurd holding pattern.
Dumb. But, I'm tired, so I'm going to bed.
24 July 2007
11 July 2007
Movie
I'm writing a movie script, I think. I bought a book about script writing, and I think I'm going to follow along with what the author says.
Its going to be a Western-ish movie, perhaps in a sci-fi setting, as that might allow for a bit more freedom in style and execution. I think the main character will be a young-ish guy who kind of stumbles into the whole thing, and is insecure and unsure, but also resolute in his desire to do what must be done. "What must be done" has yet to be decided, though.
If anyone is interested in reading and/or helping with the script, please let me know. People with good writing/editing skills would be greatly appreciated. And, anyone with a unabiding love of Westerns (like myself) is also eagerly desired. Let me know. Word.
Its going to be a Western-ish movie, perhaps in a sci-fi setting, as that might allow for a bit more freedom in style and execution. I think the main character will be a young-ish guy who kind of stumbles into the whole thing, and is insecure and unsure, but also resolute in his desire to do what must be done. "What must be done" has yet to be decided, though.
If anyone is interested in reading and/or helping with the script, please let me know. People with good writing/editing skills would be greatly appreciated. And, anyone with a unabiding love of Westerns (like myself) is also eagerly desired. Let me know. Word.
08 July 2007
Odds and Ends
There are several different things I'd like to talk about, none of which have any real relevance to each other. So...that's what I'm going to do.
I'm slowly going crazy from all the emotional rubbish of getting ready to leave. I'm used to being the stoic one of everyone, the one who is level-headed. Well, for better or worse, that is not the case...and I'm not a fan. So, I apologize to everyone I'll maim (whether phsyically, verbally, emotionally, or via any other means) in the process. I really am sorry, even though I might not make a good show of that.
That somewhat leads into another issue. I'm tired of no one seeing me for who I am. I tend to not give much away with my face (maybe I should play more poker?), but since when was that the deciding factor in what a person was feeling. I'm tired of people assuming that because I appear calm, nothing is the matter. I'm sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but I'm not the completely fearless guy you all think I am (or do you? Am I just living in a delusion? Meh). I'm afraid of this whole Australia thing. God is going to hold me to account for everyone's spiritual health. No pressure, eh? But, just because I keep pushing forward doesn't mean that I'm not terrified. Trust me, it doesn't mean that at all. I am.
And, on a less vulnerable note (just having given away my most closely guarded secret...), I think one of my favorite things is a shared moment of laughter or camaraderie between complete strangers. That moment when two people who know nothing about each other share a genuine laugh or smile, and not one forced by society or convention. Example: the other day, I was driving with my friend Nic when I noticed a guy definitely go (illegally) the wrong way on a roundabout. I burst out laughing, nudged Nic and nodded in the direction of the car as it was passing. The passenger of the car (I can only assume she was the girlfriend) saw me looking at them and laughing, and she laughed, and nudged the driver, I assume to tell him about me sharing their little joke. Its those moments of shared joy that give me hope for humanity.
However, the American Wesleyan Church doesn't give me much hope (this goes with any Christian Church caught up in the numbers game, instead of the Kingdom game). As long as you abstain from alcohol, smoking, and make sure you vote Republican (because they care about the babies and straight people, irregardless of the rest of the world), you're in. Anything else...well, that's the short road to the hot place. I can't even begin to articulate my fury at this. In fact, because I even broached the topic, I can safely guarantee that I won't get to sleep for at least an hour after I go to bed. Wake up, guys. C'mon. Its not about appearing holy, or good, or righteous...its about wading into the grime and muck and the sewage of humanity, and fighting for that one all important pearl of great price. Sell all that you have for that pearl, for that pearl is precious beyond everything. It is the Kingdom of God, a Kingdom of love, of compassion, of fairness, and equality. This issue will be dealt with in later posts, I promise. In more depth and precision. But, I'm tired.
Good night.
I'm slowly going crazy from all the emotional rubbish of getting ready to leave. I'm used to being the stoic one of everyone, the one who is level-headed. Well, for better or worse, that is not the case...and I'm not a fan. So, I apologize to everyone I'll maim (whether phsyically, verbally, emotionally, or via any other means) in the process. I really am sorry, even though I might not make a good show of that.
That somewhat leads into another issue. I'm tired of no one seeing me for who I am. I tend to not give much away with my face (maybe I should play more poker?), but since when was that the deciding factor in what a person was feeling. I'm tired of people assuming that because I appear calm, nothing is the matter. I'm sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but I'm not the completely fearless guy you all think I am (or do you? Am I just living in a delusion? Meh). I'm afraid of this whole Australia thing. God is going to hold me to account for everyone's spiritual health. No pressure, eh? But, just because I keep pushing forward doesn't mean that I'm not terrified. Trust me, it doesn't mean that at all. I am.
And, on a less vulnerable note (just having given away my most closely guarded secret...), I think one of my favorite things is a shared moment of laughter or camaraderie between complete strangers. That moment when two people who know nothing about each other share a genuine laugh or smile, and not one forced by society or convention. Example: the other day, I was driving with my friend Nic when I noticed a guy definitely go (illegally) the wrong way on a roundabout. I burst out laughing, nudged Nic and nodded in the direction of the car as it was passing. The passenger of the car (I can only assume she was the girlfriend) saw me looking at them and laughing, and she laughed, and nudged the driver, I assume to tell him about me sharing their little joke. Its those moments of shared joy that give me hope for humanity.
However, the American Wesleyan Church doesn't give me much hope (this goes with any Christian Church caught up in the numbers game, instead of the Kingdom game). As long as you abstain from alcohol, smoking, and make sure you vote Republican (because they care about the babies and straight people, irregardless of the rest of the world), you're in. Anything else...well, that's the short road to the hot place. I can't even begin to articulate my fury at this. In fact, because I even broached the topic, I can safely guarantee that I won't get to sleep for at least an hour after I go to bed. Wake up, guys. C'mon. Its not about appearing holy, or good, or righteous...its about wading into the grime and muck and the sewage of humanity, and fighting for that one all important pearl of great price. Sell all that you have for that pearl, for that pearl is precious beyond everything. It is the Kingdom of God, a Kingdom of love, of compassion, of fairness, and equality. This issue will be dealt with in later posts, I promise. In more depth and precision. But, I'm tired.
Good night.
12 June 2007
Family
So, here I am. In the Asheville, NC airport, waiting for my plan to arrive, load, and leave, hopefully in that order. Originally, my flight left roughly an hour ago, but I took a bump for a $200 voucher, to sit here for the next half an hour or so.
I've been traveling to visit family for the last week and a half, and am now going up to Minneapolis to visit my father for the next week. Its been really good to visit all my family members, because I feel like through our stories and talks, I've been able to reacquaint myself with my grandparents, both long dead. Its also made me fairly sad, because I know that they both loved me very, very deeply (something I'm only just beginning to touch the depths of), and, my grandmother especially, would have loved to have hosted me and my friends for visits.
I am on the tail-end of staying with my great-aunt Margie. I'll admit to being a little dubious about what she and I would have a chance to do and have in common, but the trip was a real joy. She and my grandmother were two of four sisters, all of whom played backgammon competitively. I have the rare (and perhaps singular) honor of being able to say that I beat all four of the Steves sisters at the game, something I reinforced by beating Auntie Marge in a grand total of five games to her two.
In doing so, though, Aunt Marge pointed out a couple of ways that I was like my own grandmother. Grammie was ultra-competitive (in a fun sort of way), and whenever she would be beaten, she would tease the victor by saying "oh, it was just an accident". I found myself doing the same thing, and was overjoyed to have Margie throwing it right back at me. (Me: You're cheating! Aunt Marge: I just watched what you did, and did that!).
After numerous discussions with my family, though, I found something interesting. In a culture that suffers both from the deterioration of the family unit, its not surprising we also ask what we think is a fundamental identity question, Who am I? But, is that question fundamental?
From what I've seen, this questions often stems from people who did not come from a strong family background. I didn't. I ask who I am. There's no rock on which to anchor, no overarching story to tie into and establish an identity through that. My faith plays a large part in that area for me now, but I don't think my faith alone can do that.
God has chosen to work through the family unit, and this is one way He has done so. By seeing our own selves in those of our parents, our similarities, our differences, we can understand who we really are. By refusing to use that as a cue for what makes us 'us', we may never really understand our deepest selves. Yes, there are many (!!) aspects of my parents I don't want to exhibit, but I do anyway. Denying I'm like them won't change the facts, it will just blind my perception in dangerous ways.
In a culture where the individuals so desperately want to know their identities, ignoring a potential source of that information is not only foolhardy, but can be dangerous if we don't realize the snares that entangle our parents might entangle us as well.
Well, my plane's here. Word.
I've been traveling to visit family for the last week and a half, and am now going up to Minneapolis to visit my father for the next week. Its been really good to visit all my family members, because I feel like through our stories and talks, I've been able to reacquaint myself with my grandparents, both long dead. Its also made me fairly sad, because I know that they both loved me very, very deeply (something I'm only just beginning to touch the depths of), and, my grandmother especially, would have loved to have hosted me and my friends for visits.
I am on the tail-end of staying with my great-aunt Margie. I'll admit to being a little dubious about what she and I would have a chance to do and have in common, but the trip was a real joy. She and my grandmother were two of four sisters, all of whom played backgammon competitively. I have the rare (and perhaps singular) honor of being able to say that I beat all four of the Steves sisters at the game, something I reinforced by beating Auntie Marge in a grand total of five games to her two.
In doing so, though, Aunt Marge pointed out a couple of ways that I was like my own grandmother. Grammie was ultra-competitive (in a fun sort of way), and whenever she would be beaten, she would tease the victor by saying "oh, it was just an accident". I found myself doing the same thing, and was overjoyed to have Margie throwing it right back at me. (Me: You're cheating! Aunt Marge: I just watched what you did, and did that!).
After numerous discussions with my family, though, I found something interesting. In a culture that suffers both from the deterioration of the family unit, its not surprising we also ask what we think is a fundamental identity question, Who am I? But, is that question fundamental?
From what I've seen, this questions often stems from people who did not come from a strong family background. I didn't. I ask who I am. There's no rock on which to anchor, no overarching story to tie into and establish an identity through that. My faith plays a large part in that area for me now, but I don't think my faith alone can do that.
God has chosen to work through the family unit, and this is one way He has done so. By seeing our own selves in those of our parents, our similarities, our differences, we can understand who we really are. By refusing to use that as a cue for what makes us 'us', we may never really understand our deepest selves. Yes, there are many (!!) aspects of my parents I don't want to exhibit, but I do anyway. Denying I'm like them won't change the facts, it will just blind my perception in dangerous ways.
In a culture where the individuals so desperately want to know their identities, ignoring a potential source of that information is not only foolhardy, but can be dangerous if we don't realize the snares that entangle our parents might entangle us as well.
Well, my plane's here. Word.
31 May 2007
Dark Holiness II (ish)
First off, let me say 'thank you' to all the people that commented on my last post. I do appreciate all that you've said, and helped me to think about. As such, I wanted to do a follow-up, so to speak.
Both Shane and Dan brought up good points about are ethics really the point, or is it rather more about love. I especially like Dan's bit about perhaps God was applauding the actor and not the action (not least because he used the word 'spunk'). I think maybe that is the key point in the whole thing...while God does desire for us to be made daily in His image, He loves us unconditionally. God loved Tamar, and the fire in her spirit that made her stand-up to the false righteousness in Judah. Keep in mind that Tamar was also not a Hebrew, nor really a worshipper of Yahweh, both facts that add in all kinds of fun complications.
Maybe that is the reason Genesis 38 is thrown in there, a reason we can only truly understand seen through the lens of Jesus. The idea that God loves us, no matter what we've done. Period. Full stop. End of story.
Ethics and 'holiness' are worthwhile and good as guidelines, but they are only just that...guidelines. When the fecal matter hits the air extruder, ethics and holiness are only so valuable. And, maybe, just maybe, that's the point.
I also really liked Jeremy's definition of holiness as the "natural development that stems from an intimate relationship and a deep desire to please the lover of our soul". I think when we think of holiness as just a list of things of what Christians do or don't do, we can really miss the point. Its not just about actions, although those play a significant part. Its about internal transformation, a point that far too many of American Christians miss. Coming up with more rules won't make people holier, rather they'll just end up becoming more legalistic. This is not to say we should throw out all rules, but has regulating everything every really worked?
Perhaps I'm showing my hand a bit too much, but the only exception I take to that definition of holiness is the 'natural' part. On the one hand, I fully agree...if you spend a long time with someone, you naturally become like them, and Jesus is no exception. But, at the same time, the pursuit of holiness often seems like its anything but natural. I fight an uphill battle against myself every day, and I always seem to be losing (how's that for a conundrum?). I so desperately want to be like Him, but at the same time, I'm just as desperately afraid to take the steps of faith.
I wish I had a good ending for this post, that would wrap everything up in a nice, neat little package, all answers included with interest. But, no. That does seem to follow the pattern of the entry, though, saying that we can't answer everything fully, but we just need to go out and meet each day. Holiness is not a list we can check off, but a lifestyle of love. We can't let the expectations of others and our desire for approval shape our lives, but rather the unconditional, infinite love of our Lord and Redeemer guide our steps, one at a time.
Your thoughts?
Both Shane and Dan brought up good points about are ethics really the point, or is it rather more about love. I especially like Dan's bit about perhaps God was applauding the actor and not the action (not least because he used the word 'spunk'). I think maybe that is the key point in the whole thing...while God does desire for us to be made daily in His image, He loves us unconditionally. God loved Tamar, and the fire in her spirit that made her stand-up to the false righteousness in Judah. Keep in mind that Tamar was also not a Hebrew, nor really a worshipper of Yahweh, both facts that add in all kinds of fun complications.
Maybe that is the reason Genesis 38 is thrown in there, a reason we can only truly understand seen through the lens of Jesus. The idea that God loves us, no matter what we've done. Period. Full stop. End of story.
Ethics and 'holiness' are worthwhile and good as guidelines, but they are only just that...guidelines. When the fecal matter hits the air extruder, ethics and holiness are only so valuable. And, maybe, just maybe, that's the point.
I also really liked Jeremy's definition of holiness as the "natural development that stems from an intimate relationship and a deep desire to please the lover of our soul". I think when we think of holiness as just a list of things of what Christians do or don't do, we can really miss the point. Its not just about actions, although those play a significant part. Its about internal transformation, a point that far too many of American Christians miss. Coming up with more rules won't make people holier, rather they'll just end up becoming more legalistic. This is not to say we should throw out all rules, but has regulating everything every really worked?
Perhaps I'm showing my hand a bit too much, but the only exception I take to that definition of holiness is the 'natural' part. On the one hand, I fully agree...if you spend a long time with someone, you naturally become like them, and Jesus is no exception. But, at the same time, the pursuit of holiness often seems like its anything but natural. I fight an uphill battle against myself every day, and I always seem to be losing (how's that for a conundrum?). I so desperately want to be like Him, but at the same time, I'm just as desperately afraid to take the steps of faith.
I wish I had a good ending for this post, that would wrap everything up in a nice, neat little package, all answers included with interest. But, no. That does seem to follow the pattern of the entry, though, saying that we can't answer everything fully, but we just need to go out and meet each day. Holiness is not a list we can check off, but a lifestyle of love. We can't let the expectations of others and our desire for approval shape our lives, but rather the unconditional, infinite love of our Lord and Redeemer guide our steps, one at a time.
Your thoughts?
11 May 2007
Dark Holiness
I find myself in a bit of a tailspin after reading Scripture (which is exactly what Scripture should do to our lives, shake them up a bit and force us to rethink everything).
I come from the Methodist branch of holiness teaching, which means that to be holy means that you don't drink, smoke or chew, nor hang around with those who do. Holiness sometimes comes down to a list of things you don't do...but, the Wesleyan Methodists in Australia have started to define it by a heart condition (more akin to what Wesley himself, and even some crazy Nazarene preacher did). But, holiness is a matter of following the dictates of Scripture by being a person of integrity (not lying, cheating, stealing, etc etc) as well as loving God and people with your whole being.
But, then I read Genesis 38, the story of Judah and Tamar.
Now, I've read this before, but for some reason, this time I really began to think about it...why is Tamar commended for being a prostitute, lying, and being a cheat? And, don't kid yourself, she is absolutely commended (if just by being mentioned in all the genealogies and whatnot).
Now, if this was an isolated case, that would be one thing. But, this same craftiness is commended in the Hebrew midwives in Exodus 1:15-22. As well as the life of Jacob (almost the whole darn thing...he is chosen as the namesake for the Jews entire). And in Christ's parable of the Dishonest (or Shrewd) Manager.
What are we supposed to draw from this? How are we supposed to define holiness?
I am reminded of a character from the television show, Boston Legal. Alan Shore is a good lawyer, but making ethical decisions is not his forte. However, he does do what is right. In one particular case, he encouraged someone to impersonate a psychiatrist to ascertain if another psychiatrist's patient was homicidal. When queried about if that was ethical, Shore replied "Oh. I'm sorry. If ethics is what you're worried about, then just write a letter as a lawyer stating it is not something ot be worried about, that the client isn't dangerous. You'll both be covered. I didn't realize ethics was the issue...I thought human life was at stake. My apologies."
Is that the attitude that we're supposed to have? Do what is right, even if it means lying or cheating? Doesn't that stray into the awful realm of the ends justifying the means?
Or, are we as Christians called to that kind of discerning and hard style of Christianity, weighing each and every issue individually, but not having the 'hard and fast' rules that we as people love so much?
I wish I had the answer. This is a difficult question, and I really want to hear people's opinions about this. Please let me know your thoughts, and this has very high potential as an issue we'll see again in my blog.
Word.
I come from the Methodist branch of holiness teaching, which means that to be holy means that you don't drink, smoke or chew, nor hang around with those who do. Holiness sometimes comes down to a list of things you don't do...but, the Wesleyan Methodists in Australia have started to define it by a heart condition (more akin to what Wesley himself, and even some crazy Nazarene preacher did). But, holiness is a matter of following the dictates of Scripture by being a person of integrity (not lying, cheating, stealing, etc etc) as well as loving God and people with your whole being.
But, then I read Genesis 38, the story of Judah and Tamar.
Now, I've read this before, but for some reason, this time I really began to think about it...why is Tamar commended for being a prostitute, lying, and being a cheat? And, don't kid yourself, she is absolutely commended (if just by being mentioned in all the genealogies and whatnot).
Now, if this was an isolated case, that would be one thing. But, this same craftiness is commended in the Hebrew midwives in Exodus 1:15-22. As well as the life of Jacob (almost the whole darn thing...he is chosen as the namesake for the Jews entire). And in Christ's parable of the Dishonest (or Shrewd) Manager.
What are we supposed to draw from this? How are we supposed to define holiness?
I am reminded of a character from the television show, Boston Legal. Alan Shore is a good lawyer, but making ethical decisions is not his forte. However, he does do what is right. In one particular case, he encouraged someone to impersonate a psychiatrist to ascertain if another psychiatrist's patient was homicidal. When queried about if that was ethical, Shore replied "Oh. I'm sorry. If ethics is what you're worried about, then just write a letter as a lawyer stating it is not something ot be worried about, that the client isn't dangerous. You'll both be covered. I didn't realize ethics was the issue...I thought human life was at stake. My apologies."
Is that the attitude that we're supposed to have? Do what is right, even if it means lying or cheating? Doesn't that stray into the awful realm of the ends justifying the means?
Or, are we as Christians called to that kind of discerning and hard style of Christianity, weighing each and every issue individually, but not having the 'hard and fast' rules that we as people love so much?
I wish I had the answer. This is a difficult question, and I really want to hear people's opinions about this. Please let me know your thoughts, and this has very high potential as an issue we'll see again in my blog.
Word.
16 April 2007
Disciplines
I've been meaning to write this post for awhile, but since I'm currently dying of Ebola, I decided I might as well write it in case I don't last too much longer.
I've been doing a fair amount of thinking about the idea of training yourself, especially in spiritual matters. I've taken a class in spiritual formation, and read numerous books about the subject, so it is at least a topic I am familiar with. I've also done some reading about Sparta and their military culture, and I am intrigued by the overlap.
Now, a lot of you are probably thinking "oh, he just saw 300, and this is going to be a post about how we should all be Spartans for Jesus" or something along those lines. No. Well, kind of, but mostly no.
I was monumentally disappointed by 300. Yeah, it was a good action movie, but its been a long time since that was the only necessity for me to like a movie. The thing that made the Spartans so amazing as a military force was their amazing discipline, and the sheer rigor of their training...not their ability to go into battle bare-chested (they didn't) or how to stand back-to-back defending a brother (they would stay in formation, always...something they alluded to in the movie, but then forgot about).
But, the concept of taking one's entire life and rigorously subjecting yourself to hardship after hardship to build up endurance...that is amazing. That was the mainstay of Spartan culture, the concept of having an amazingly tough training program so that when war came around, everyone was more than prepared for the hardships that entailed.
Does that describe us as Christians? Sadly, all too often, it does not. We have our jobs and our friends and our hobbies, and those tend to dominate our priorities. The concept of sacrificing one of those in order to spend time with God is unthinkable. Why should I turn off my XBox if God already loves me?
The parables in Matthew 13:44-50 seem to really portray this well. The theme that is present throughout is the idea of being willing to sell everything you have, in order to obtain that one, precious commodity. Are we willing to do that, as Christians?
I wish I could say that I was. Last week I tried to train myself to be disciplined, and it worked...to a degree. I ran four out of five days, and the day off was planned (I promise). I did a decent amount of work on my sermon for last night...but, somehow, in the midst of that, I still spent most of my time watching TV and wasting time on the internet.
I'm beginning to realize that we cannot accomplish this easily...nor should we be able to. If it was easy, we wouldn't have to make it our one, all-consuming passion. God does not want us to muck around, but to put Him at the center. I wish I could speak to this from experience of success, but its more from a place of black eyes, broken noses, and bleeding lips. But, speak to it I can, in a way, and I shall...and I invite all of you to keep me accountable and join me on the trek.
I've been doing a fair amount of thinking about the idea of training yourself, especially in spiritual matters. I've taken a class in spiritual formation, and read numerous books about the subject, so it is at least a topic I am familiar with. I've also done some reading about Sparta and their military culture, and I am intrigued by the overlap.
Now, a lot of you are probably thinking "oh, he just saw 300, and this is going to be a post about how we should all be Spartans for Jesus" or something along those lines. No. Well, kind of, but mostly no.
I was monumentally disappointed by 300. Yeah, it was a good action movie, but its been a long time since that was the only necessity for me to like a movie. The thing that made the Spartans so amazing as a military force was their amazing discipline, and the sheer rigor of their training...not their ability to go into battle bare-chested (they didn't) or how to stand back-to-back defending a brother (they would stay in formation, always...something they alluded to in the movie, but then forgot about).
But, the concept of taking one's entire life and rigorously subjecting yourself to hardship after hardship to build up endurance...that is amazing. That was the mainstay of Spartan culture, the concept of having an amazingly tough training program so that when war came around, everyone was more than prepared for the hardships that entailed.
Does that describe us as Christians? Sadly, all too often, it does not. We have our jobs and our friends and our hobbies, and those tend to dominate our priorities. The concept of sacrificing one of those in order to spend time with God is unthinkable. Why should I turn off my XBox if God already loves me?
The parables in Matthew 13:44-50 seem to really portray this well. The theme that is present throughout is the idea of being willing to sell everything you have, in order to obtain that one, precious commodity. Are we willing to do that, as Christians?
I wish I could say that I was. Last week I tried to train myself to be disciplined, and it worked...to a degree. I ran four out of five days, and the day off was planned (I promise). I did a decent amount of work on my sermon for last night...but, somehow, in the midst of that, I still spent most of my time watching TV and wasting time on the internet.
I'm beginning to realize that we cannot accomplish this easily...nor should we be able to. If it was easy, we wouldn't have to make it our one, all-consuming passion. God does not want us to muck around, but to put Him at the center. I wish I could speak to this from experience of success, but its more from a place of black eyes, broken noses, and bleeding lips. But, speak to it I can, in a way, and I shall...and I invite all of you to keep me accountable and join me on the trek.
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